Second Time's A Charm Though Not So Charming

I'm at that age where I'm beginning to see a consistent number of successful athletes who are younger than I am make some pretty impressive showings. Usually this leaves me a little enamored and a little upset. Sacha Kljestan is no exception. The Chivas midfielder scored his third goal of the season this weekend in an amazing goal quite similar his second.

Near the edge of the 18, Kljestan attacks on the dribble with a simple fake--lean outside, cut inside-- and then strikes the ball in such a manner as to curve it from wide right into the far upper corner. Kljestan has done this twice now early in the season, proving outrightly this is a forte in his arsenal, not a rare (and awesome) effect.

The team lost miserably despite the Klejstan first-half goal that tied the match at 1-1---all besides the point. That strike, that goal, sealed the deal for me. The kid ought to be wearing colors similar to Chivas this summer in Beijing.

Chivas/Galaxy Highlights

Vodka Gets Healthier , Less Intoxicating, in the Second Round

In today's world of literature, biographies and autobiographies are not as cool as memoirs. And though I'm not entirely positive I'm clear on the distinction, I'm glad they're enjoying serious success because I love reading them. I don't tend to care much if it's a biography, an autobiography, or a memoir; I get a kick out of reading about real people and seeing what it is you can learn about them, even though they (or their families) have likely been able to filter what content you have access to. You're likely to find a story no one could have ever created.

I've read a number of Kate Hepburn and Anne Sexton books, a couple of specific runners or teams of runners, several nobody's with crazy childhoods, and a few nobody's in extreme circumstances. In fact, one of my favorite books, Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett is a memoir. But no memoirs compare to the Chelsea Handler's memoirs.....not even Chelsea Handler's.

About a year ago, I read the first of the comedian's releases. And though she's rather more crude than is my general taste, I could not help but laugh at the escapades of My Horizontal Life: A series of one-night stands. The image of her climbing into a kitchen window dressed as a green m&m is particularly memorable. Having had such a good experience on the first go-round, I eagerly awaited the opportunity to ride again. This month, Handler's second book, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me Chelsea was released. I ordered it and read it in a matter of days (much like I had with the first). But I read this one quickly for a different reason than the first. The first time, I didn't want to stop laughing; the second, I wanted to find the place where I would laugh like I did in the first.

I do not mean to say the second is not funny or enjoyable or even worth the read but the topic of each vignette was less enjoyable than the sex-obsessed first book. It's no secret Chelsea is candid about everything (if you need a sample, watch her late-night show) and humorously so but her humor simply isn't at it's best when it focuses more on family outings than intoxicated soirées. Her story-telling capabilities can't be called into question (though her editor's proofreading can).

Summer is the season for an entertaining and easy read. I suggest you give Handler a shot, though odds are she's already had enough to drink. But if you're only going to have time for one read, stick with the original. The sequel doesn't live up to it.

Mastermind: Lemony Snicket

If you're unfamiliar with the unfortunate, that's unfortunate indeed. Writer Lemony Snicket has created a series of lovable and laughable, if at times equally annoying and amounting, books in his series A Series of Unfortunate Events. The series is thirteen books long and, having completed each individual book, with each individual sentence (even the ones that were written backwards... yes, you heard me, backwards), permit me to say it is completely worth it. Obviously, there has to be some commitment to the cause as you're not likely to complete all 13 books overnight (though you could do it fortnightly with some serious time or insomnia on your hands). The characters are endearing, however, and manage to acquire more complexity with each book. The Baudelaire orphans are headed by Violet, the eldest, who is quite the little engineer. She is followed by Klaus, her brother who has a knack for research. And the youngest Baudelaire, Sunny, who begins as a baby but grows into early childhood, has a mouth fetish, to say the least.

If only to reach the final book in the series, The End, each book is worth the adventure. For what other author, in a thirteenth book of a series, could combine biblical allusions, insult The Little Engine that Could, and come up with several Shakespearean and Melvillian (?) references in a package that actually leaves you wanting more?

You'll see what I mean once you travel through the story of unfortunate events, past The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window, and The Miserable Mill, through The Austere Academy, The Ersatz Elevator, The Vile Village and The Hostile Hospital, over The Carnivorous Carnival, The Slippery Slope, The Grim Grotto, and The Penultimate Peril, to adventurously arrive at The End . You'll be quite fortunate to have done so.

The Queen's English Society Makes Enemies of Poets

Over the weekend Southern Cal had sun,
But it was really quite dark over one,
The Queen's English Society in Britain
Was busy establishing poetic corruption.

For poetry to be poetry, they declared,
It must be how we like it prepared,
With meter and rhyme (and the English behind)
Like Shakespeare, John Donne, or Chaucer.

Without the free verse of the times,
And with only their orderly rhymes,
They can call to esteem the ones that they deem
So old English poets might reign supreme.

So much for the creative blood flow
That plants seeds of novelty to grow
Over the rigidity of words that plateaued
Hundreds of years ago.

Such originality must be quenched
For, they dare say, it does leave a stench
Not pleasing to their noses, although one supposes
They smell their own rotten trench.

Bury the nay-sayers, they proclaim,
And carry them away in their shame.
We'll say it's their fault, they provoked the assault
For not all becoming the same.

The Best Show You Probably Aren't Watching

"Samantha who?"
"Yes. 'Samantha Who?'"
"Who is she? Samantha what?"
"Samantha Who."

It's the next great 'Who's on First' bit, just you wait. But what is this "Samantha Who?" show? Probably the best show you aren't watching, and it really is a scripted show too, with actors and actresses, traditional writers and directors. Crazy. And it's good too! Who'd-uh-thunk? .... Samantha. That's Who.

The show which premiered this past fall re-kicked off its first season after the writer's strike last week. It airs Mondays on ABC and chronicles the day-to-day life of Samantha, who has just recovered from an car accident which prompted amnesia only to slowly discover that she was kind of a wretched skank manipulative whore of a person before the accident. This is her second chance, even if she doesn't quite remember her first.

What makes the show so good? Obviously the writing. The show's writers come up with great dialogue as well as interesting situations. Who expected that when Samantha moved out of her ex-boyfriend's apartment she would later discover the apartment wasn't his, it wasn't even theirs, it was hers! And yet, she continues to let him to live there....and now with his new girlfriend!! Oh, the awkwardness. :)

But the writing is only words on a page until the actors come in. I can't argue with a show that has half the cast of "Related" (though no one ever knew what "Related" was) and stars Christina Applegate. And since I can't argue with it on those accounts, Melissa McCarthy (of Sookie on "Gilmore Girls"), Barry Watson (the cute one from "7th Heaven"), and Jean Smart ("Garden State," "Sweet Home Alabama,".....) are some pretty sweet icing on a yum-yum-yummy cake! (And I don't even usually care for icing!) Andrea, Samantha's best friend from before the accident, tries to rekindle the bad girl in Samantha while Dena, a lovingly pathetic character from Samantha's childhood, attempts to persuade her toward good. The constant good vs. evil tug-of-war is a classic one but "Samantha Who?" manages to give it a new twist.

If you've missed it so far, rectify your transgressions now and tune in.

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

If you don't already know, let me make this clear. The best band in existence is Rilo Kiley. Now that we're all in the know, whisperings began a couple of months ago that lead singer, Jenny Lewis (yes, that is the kid from "Troop Beverly Hills"), was back in the recording studio working on her second solo album. The band is LA-based and Jenny was said to be recording in the general vicinity. Now, however, the band is leaving LA for awhile to tour North America (and I'm still waiting for someone who will go to the show in Pomona with me late this month). Is she done recording? What has become of the album? Why is there no news on the topic?

I'm hoping it's in its final stages but haven't discovered anything to suggest such good news and am thinking it's going to be awhile before I can own it, which I will, the day it's released. If you know anything, please inform me. I made things clear for you (see first sentences of this blog). It's only fair that you reciprocate.

Dickens, Defarge and Macbeth!!!

I have a degree in literature. Well, actually I have 1+ degrees in literature since I do have post-graduate credits in the subject. I like to read and I like to read all sorts of books (but not all types--see my currently reading section to the right and down the page). As I am currently a temp employee at a job that requires me to use my hands but not my mind, I have begun downloading audiobooks so that I feel as though I have done something with my day. In this manner, I am reading A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

A Brief History of my Relationship with Mr. Dickens:
Great Expectations was an assigned read in high school which I absolutely adored for the way it managed to drip with the Industrial Revolution. In college, I read the lesser known Barnaby Rudge, a book about a very interesting and sympathetic character, but hardly a book I would advise you to seek out. That's as far as my reading has taken me. But just to add one more tid-bit, I do enjoy these facts about Dickens......1) He was an insomniac. He walked the streets of London all through the night seeing it, perhaps, at its dirtiest hour. 2) He hated America. 3) His books appeared as a series, by chapter usually, in newspapers/periodicals. Wonder why his descriptions are so voluminous? He was paid by the word.

And so we arrive at my current read. There is a vicious character in the book who, upon first entrance, seems incredibly docile. Her name is Madame Defarge and she reminds me much of a more famous vicious female character--Lady Macbeth. Now, I promise you I will not write a paper on the topic and make you read/listen, but a compare/contrast of the two characters would be very interesting---from the speech that she gives to her husband to her stabbing of the governor. She is a character of amazing faith, believing in the cause of the Revolution and the blessing to be a part of it regardless of if she sees it to fruition. This character aspect is admirable. Madame Defarge intrigues me more than any other character. She's smarter than any other character, which I find odd for a 19th century novel written by a man. I'm only halfway through the book so I'm holding out hope that Madame Defarge goes nuts like Lady Macbeth. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good, "Out, out, damn spot!"